Beautiful

Lamentations 3:19-23

19 The thought of my suffering and homelessness is bitter beyond words. 20 I will never forget this awful time,as I grieve over my loss. 21 Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this:
22 The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. 23 Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning.



                          The wait of adoption is grueling to say the least. You sign paper after paper, praying and hoping that every T is crossed and every I is doted and every word is worded in just the right way, so that everything is just right and the way it is suppose to be to bring home your child. You seldom get updates and when you do you can only pray what you get is actually true. We have taken online courses (required to adopt in China) that have opened up our eyes to the world our child and all of these children are forced to face everyday. I have questioned, cried, worried, longed for and prayed for and over this little girl. My questions of, who am I to take on this challenge? Why would God have pushed me forward to be blessed by this little life? What if I can't handle it, would I only then be hurting her instead of bringing her into love. The classes talk of how this sweet girl will be met with strange faces, taken away from all she's ever known, the people, the smells, the friends, the sights, the sounds, the food and taken to a place she knows nothing about, to taste food she's never tasted, and listen to a language she doesn't understand, all of this making her feel very sad and alone and different. leaving me to look at my husband and ask, are we doing the right thing for her?
                      The other day while I was driving these questions were again going through my head when I heard a song by Mercy Me called Beautiful--some of the lyrics say:

Days will come when you don't have the strength
And all you hear is you're not worth anything
Wondering if you ever could be loved
And if they truly saw your heart
They'd see too much

You're beautiful, You're beautiful
You are made for so much more than all of this
You're beautiful, You're beautiful
You are treasured, you are sacred, you are His
You're beautiful

Praying that you have the heart to fight
'Cuz you are more than what is hurting you tonight
For all the lies you've held inside so long
But they are nothing in the shadow of the cross

                   When I heard the words to this song I thought to myself- I wonder if Nina has ever had these feelings. Sure she is young, but with so many children in her orphanages does she ever feel loved? Has anyone ever told her she is beautiful? Does she wonder if she is not worth anything since her mother abandoned her? And then God stopped my thoughts and whispered, "Sara, why not you? Why not you to love her, and make her feel beautiful and like she is worth something. Why don't you let me show you how I can use you as a tool to bringing this little girl to her new family."
                  Suddenly all the doubts and questions I had didn't matter. Because she matters to God, and that should be enough. Does that mean I wont struggle with doubts from time to time when I get overwhelmed-I'd love to say no, but new frustrations will arise in this process and my guard will be down. But one thing I do know-when I am doubting, or stressing, I take one look at her pictures and I just know I love this child already. I see her beauty, even without meeting her. And I know, without a shadow of a doubt-that she has worth.

                    I leave you with this song we sang in church today. A song that reminded me that God can use me...He can use you...He can use any one who is able and willing to be used of Him in every way...


All this pain
I wonder if I'll ever find my way?
I wonder if my life could really change at all?
All this earth
Could all that is lost ever be found?
Could a garden come up from this ground at all?


You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us

All around
Hope is springing up from this old ground
Out of chaos life is being found in You

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us


Read more: GUNGOR - BEAUTIFUL THINGS LYRICS


God Bless!