I remember one Christmas when we got in the car to start another VERRRRY long trip to Michigan, we decided to leave Christmas Eve night after service and drive through the night. We had been in the car for about 5 minutes when we stopped at a gas station to top off our gas when I heard Elli call from the back seat, "mommy are we there yet?! How much longer?! I'm getting tired of driving." HA! Tired already? Was she for real! Some of you are probably laughing because you can relate to how funny it is that little kids have no real grasp on time or distance.
But one day as I heard Elli say that from the back seat (yes a different time, she says it often) I thought to myself, "is that what God thinks of me?" When hears me PLEADING with Him, "God, my children are in an orphanage, in a place of no hope and no future and no love, possibly fighting for all that they have or need. Lord, don't you hear me?! Why aren't you moving the computer systems quicker? Why am I not getting the call I need to move forward?!"
In the Bible it says:
2 Peter 3:8 But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. 9 The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.
So in the grand scheme of things, I haven't been waiting that long. It seems like it. Right now I am the child in the backseat screaming for the drive to be over because I have been here for so long. Because my life is uncomfortable. I long to be back to the semi normal of life, doing life the way I feel I have more control. Yes my children are far away, they are missing out on every kiss and moment of love with a family that is fighting hard to get them. But God knows that. He sees them with His own eyes. He cares more about the children HE created than I do. He created them for a purpose. He brought us to this with a PROMISE.
This morning in church my pastor hit me right where I needed it most. He said. "God has placed you in a unique time in history."
Esther 4:14b And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?”
And "God has given you EVERYTHING that you need to accomplish what he has called you too do TODAY."
2 Peter 1:3 His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.
I need to live life TODAY! Right where I am. I need to stop living for August or September. It doesn't mean I will stop thinking about it, or planning for it. BUT I need to stop living for those days. I need to keep my mind here and now. Who knows how many opportunities I will, or have missed telling people about adoption because I was sulking the day away because I missed getting something I was hoping for. Or how many days i missed enjoying my kids because I had a bad day adoption related. I will always and forever be grateful for this journey. It has been HARD and had many ups and downs, but I have grown so much, learned a LOT and I have had my eyes made WIDE OPEN to another world, but I want to soak as much up of this moment as I can. Because we were made for "such a moment as THIS"!
Moral of the story: next time you hear YOUR 'Elli' in the back seat yell "ARE WE THERE YET? Remember Not one of us has refrained from complaining when we are stuck in an uncomfortable situation. Live where you are to the best that you can!
Thank you friends! Please pray for the computer systems in China. There are rumors that this week could be a big one for those of us who have been waiting for a while...we shall see ;)
And I will say-I know that this is post like what 20 about being patient?! LOL I know, I know, the ache of Nina and Isac wont go away, and I probably wont be able to keep from wanting to shed a tear when our family is playing and I notice they are missing...but I am getting better...little by little I Can be taught! :)
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