That is the life I want to lead. A life that is ready and willing to be one of the GREATS! I don't want to be remembered. I could really care less of the legacy I leave behind as being one of the greats, because that fades. Another hero will always rise, another person will always do something greater, that is just the way history works. I want to be a great because I want to know I was willing to give all to God.
I know some think (I have been told) us adopting more kids would take away from our family dynamic. How could we enjoy our family if we have so many kids? The only answer I have to that is my joy is found differently than it once was. It doesn't look the same as it once did. It is seeing my second child take it upon herself to teach her younger sister, just adopted, how to write, just because she wants to see her learn. It is in seeing my third daughter laugh with her new sister and tell me how much she loves being a big sister to her because they both love to giggle and Nina didn't have that before. It is watching Levi step it up to try and build a relationship with Nina and Isac that I have never seen him try and build before, all on his own. It is seeing my oldest cuddle with her new baby brother and read him a baby book. It is in watching my Nina learn the simple things that come so easily for all of us and LOVE the praise that comes with it. It is in watching Isac rest so easily in Josh's arms because he feels his love.
Getting there wasn't easy. Just like Moses I tried making every excuse I possibly could, but I KNEW God was calling us in a direction that I needed to go to. And I did not want to miss what HE had in store for us!
And...He is calling us again!!!!!!
Again, I tried making every excuse I could. I mean this time I've got good ones Lord! Things with Nina are still working themselves out. We are starting the process to move since we knew we were going back eventually, we need to be in a home that will fit our growing family. "Please God, I am willing but not now! What will people think?!"
I wrestled with this A LOT! But in the end, I saw her face, and in my heart I knew for some reason God was telling me,"this sweet girl just can't sit there any more...are you willing?"
"But God there are so many waiting? Why her? Is this you or me? LORD I am willing but please answer me?"
And over and over I knew His response..."are you willing?"
Josh and I just laid it down. Prayed hard. And the next morning in church, our Pastor preached a series called "Whatever It Takes". One of his quote was;
In the same way, those of you who do not give up everything you have cannot be my disciples.
"Having faith often means doing what others see as crazy. Something is wrong when our lives make sense to unbelievers.
Christians today like to play it safe. We want to put ourselves in situations where we are safe "even if there is no God". But if we truly desire to please God, we cannot live that way. We have to do things that cost us during our life on earth but will be more than worth it in eternity."
"We ended up moving into a house that was half the size of our previous home, and we haven't regretted it. My response to the cynics, in the context of eternity,was, I the crazy one for selling my house?Or are you for not giving more, being with your Creator more? If one person "wastes" away his day spending hours connecting with God, and the other person believes he is too busy or has better thing to do then worship the Creator or Sustainer, who is the crazy one?" Francis Chan CRAZY LOVE
Being the parents of 7+ kids, some with special needs, will not and is not the easiest journey to live, and our kids may not have the memories of amazing expensive trips and vacations, but as a family we are making so many memories. IF there is one legacy I do want to leave my kids it is to live a life of denying self, taking up the cross and following Him. God DOES want us to have fun and enjoy life...but I guess it just depends what you consider joy...
No doubt Moses, Jesus and David didn't "enjoy" being mocked and persecuted...but their joy was not found in the things man thought of them. I pray we can live a life of a new kind of joy.
All of our joys will look different...God calls us to different things and has in different places in life, different journeys and different desires...this this where He lead us...this is where WE chose joy.
This is a video we showed our kids and family to announce our sweet Abbi.