To all those watching from the outside...

To all those watching from the outside...

I would love to tell you my strength was that unlike yours. I wish my heart and mind help the patients you think some how I possess. The kind that could handle a whole room of young kids and never want to throw in the towel, to throw my hands up and say I surrender. I would give anything some days to be that person so many people think I must be to walk the journey we are on in adoption, in having a big family and in handling special needs kids. But I fear you see me. That strength, that patience and endurance, is not me...it is Christ. This is a concept that I am only now really understanding more and more about myself.

You see it is tempting to believe you. It is tempting to think I must be patient to have so many young kids, or I must have such strength to agree to bring more children into our family and stand through the fire with Nina's surgeries and battle Epilepsy. But I am just as flawed, just as weak and just as impatient as many of you are. It is in those moments that I become more disappointed in myself because I am relying on ME to be those things...when I am not. Those are just moments I took the reins of my life thinking I CAN DO THIS by myself.  I can promise you I never imagined my life journeying the way it has turned out, I never thought for a second that I myself held ANY of the right qualities needed to be where I am today. And you know what, I do not think God cared if I did or not either. He saw me, His child, created to be a vessel on this earth to be used to bring Him glory. He does not need ME to be strong, or enduring, or even patient because HE is all of those things. He just needed me to be willing to be filled with HIM to walk this journey.

I say this friend because I do not want you to miss out! I fear so many are missing out on AMAZING LIFE ALTERING journeys on this earth because we are waiting to be what we think God needs us to be. Do not wait friends! There are too many people counting on you! Not just waiting to be adopted but there are homeless waiting for you to start that kitchen so they can see the love of Christ's church and a smile. There are children waiting for adults to step forward and mentor them, walk with them, and be the adult they never had in their lives. THERE ARE LITERALLY opportunities EVERYWHERE around you! Do not wait till you have time, MAKE TIME! What are you here on this earth for anyway? To serve Christ or to serve yourself?

I will never pretend this journey is easy, that saying yes was not as scary as all get out or that I did not and still do not doubt that maybe I am not all I need to be on this journey. But that is exactly what Satan what's to use to paralyze God's church. And we can not let him win! God CAN and WILL equip us if we are ready willing and able-THAT is all you need!!! So whether or not God only has planned for us to raise the seven we have or adopt 20 more, I know I can say yes, knowing it is HIM who will give us what we need to be that vessel. It will NOT be easy! Our human flesh WILL become weak some days and our hearts will break. We may see more sadness than we ever imagined and we might doubt from time to time whether we did the right thing or not...but all of those things only prove we are still human. Olympic gold medalist can do amazing things to their bodies to win that medal...but do not think they do not have their moments of wanting to give up, of feeling weak, broken down weary or overwhelmed. But that does not make them any less an Olympic medalist, it just makes them human!

So go out friends and allow God to use you because it is not a matter of whether or not you are the one good enough to perfect His plan, because you are a child of God you already ARE part of that  plan and equipt with all you need to fulfill His plan! If you will allow yourself to be.

Friends the road up the mountain is not an easy climb, but I promise you DO NOT walk it alone, you will be given everything you need to climb and the view-oh the view is BREATH TAKING and so worth the climb.