Some of you may read this and know exactly how I feel, some may think maybe she's is being over dramatic-and that's okay, I'm self proclaimed dramatic...just ask my hubby, and then there may be those of you who will think I may just be plain crazy. Maybe you wont say it out loud...but you think it could be a possibility. Why you ask would you think all these things....because I think I may be all of those things! I spent Thanksgiving having fun with family and eating great food and truly being thankful for all the things God has blessed me with, but part of me was trying to push back sadness. Sadness for a little girl I have never met, many many many miles away from home. I missed her so much and it made me sad that her family was having a family get together and she was somewhere in a cold orphanage. She was unaware of the happiness that holidays could bring. Possibly hunting somewhere for something else to layer on her cold body in the cold China winter. Maybe longing to play with the doll the older child took away from her that she could never call hers. Maybe I'm wrong about imagining all those things. Maybe her orphanage had the privilege of being heated (though doubtful), maybe they had plenty of toys to go around. Maybe the nannies at the orphanages went the extra mile to make sure the children enjoyed the holidays the best they could. But she was still without the love of a mother and father telling her daily how special, beautiful and wonderful she is and how much they love her.
I have to admit I was surprised by these feelings myself. How could I miss someone I've never met? Or wish for someone who wasn't here, if they had never been here? It's not like I knew what we were missing by not having her here. I don't know if she would be outside with her older sister exploring her Nanna's new yard, or in the kitchen like her sister just a little older than her, trying to help cook, or like her middle sister, who would be playing with her cousin trying to make her smile. I don't know what makes her giggle, or makes her eyes light up. Or if she would want light meat or dark meat, or any meat at all. So what was I missing so much? I could not answer the question, nor could I make the sadness of not having her with us at the table, go away, but I did know deep down inside-I was missing her. Somehow, in a way I don't think I could ever describe, I fell in love with this child who I don't even know. She is our daughter, and I can't wait to hold her in my arms and spend everyday getting to know this little peanut. Now to get through Christmas...
Phew-now that I got that out! I wanted to tell you all about another fundraiser that we are doing. It is through a company called Adoption Bug. The company was started by a couple who wanted to fund their own adoption so they started making their own adoption shirts. Now they are making shirts for other families adopting to help fund their adoptions. We as a family get to pick out which designs we want in our store, and you go through our store to pick out which shirt you would like to buy. In addition to the shirts that Adoption Bug designed there are shirts that are designs from Show Hope, a Christian Adoption organization, founded by Christian music singer Steven Curtis Chapman, that helps children find their forever families, help raise funds and awareness for adoption, and help families get grants for their own adoption. Part of the commission from any of the Show Hope shirts that are purchased, will go to Show Hope to help them help more children and families. There is a link on the left side of my blog down under the Donate button and the blog archive, that will take you to our family store. You see it?---> The one with the shirts? HA! That's it. Thank you so much for reading and I hope you all have a wonderful night and a great week!
Our link to our Adoption Bug store: www.adoptionbug.com/ninanoll
About Adoption Bug: http://www.adoptionbug.com/
About Show Hope: http://www.showhope.org/home.aspx